last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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