I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize