Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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