i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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