Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
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I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
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There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize