i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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