why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
