I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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