...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
