I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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