Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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