Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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