wrigley field is MILF paradise
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We don't watch enough power rangers
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
