What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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