he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
