just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
