He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize