Screwed.edu
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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