I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So vagazzling was a success
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
