fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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