Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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