i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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