He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
