he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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