i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
