Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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