brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
