Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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