he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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