I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
