I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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