You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
