You just made me feel so damn special
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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