I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
