the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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