I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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