I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
is it fun? or sober?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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