so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
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My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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