Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
