dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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