y did u give ur computer a hand job?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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