How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
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i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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