laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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