Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
