i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
operation have a gay friend backfired
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
