well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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