Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize