at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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