it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
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Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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