You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
