You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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