She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You made out with two different species that night
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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