but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
