You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
