I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
