I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
