He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
